I was in a helicopter, high in the air above the clouds moving from prison one and into “haven” one. As we were ascending, I stared into the water and noticed how unchanged it would look the further we went up. If only the pilot had told me, I thought. But now maybe the pilot had a plan, I think.

So here I was moving on from prison two to prison three, potentially. Again in the helicopter, but this time I was my own pilot. I stared differently out into the water, frustrated at the unchanged reflection. I was curious about crashing, not confident in my ability to change the outcome, but perhaps I could put an end to all outcomes entirely. Do not worry reader. I did not crash into the water although it may feel sometimes as though I am drowning.

The plane touched down hesitantly, and when I opened my eyes the land that met the wheels was not barren dry. It was green and spacious and in that moment I knew I didn’t want to be the pilot of this mission; of my mission. There are better things down the runway.